C'est la vie...?

Does life change, or do the chemicals in your brain? Like, your routine hasn't changed,;you're still doing the same thing, chasing the same TV show, or at least you can. I mean, you can still do what you did yesterday or the day before today, but you decided to do something else, a decision you could've made yesterday or tomorrow, but you chose today. (Well, technically, you can't really make a decision yesterda,y so today is all we have, LOL. Now I'm just trolling myself. Then you go out and notice what you didn't the last time you walked the same road; did something change in the world today? Or did you? Was everything like this the last time I was here, or has something happened to the same park I came to with someone a weekend ago? But the grass still feels the same tho; the trees haven't moved either. You've come upon an opportunity recently and things have been looking up too, but you still found it difficult to get out of bed this morning. Am I ungrateful? Shouldn't I be happy? I stepped out my house today to go for a jog but I just couldn't resist the lush green grass of fading spring, and started writing all this. I guess what I'm trynna say is that today I've decided to do everything that's supposed to make me feel better, except the question remains: Better than what? What was I even feeling in the morning? I don't think I gave myself enough time to figure that out. I mean, I know I didn't wanna get up and do anything but now I am here, outside, in a place where I've come before but it feels strange for some reason. In the end, I haven't got a clue what change is, or what changes. Have you?